ugh i can't believe this. you're engaged??! wtf....... just wtf... okay. I don't know how I am supposed to feel about this, but i am feeling something. outrage? shock? surprised? HURT? I don't even know.
It's been about a year since i was discharged out of hospital and ONE FKN YEAR later you got engaged to some chick you used to text telling me she was your cousin? I need to rant, because this shit is always on my mind. i thought it would never get to me, but as I constantly checked your instagram, i saw pictures of you, and her and her caption and how she had your date that you asked her out, in March, WOW really, it took that little amount of time for you to ask her out? THEN PROPOSE? AND HERE I AM, looking at your engagement photos, "engaged to the man of dreams" photos of you both together thinking, shouldn't that be me? You said we were going to marry, you said we were going to have a huge engagement party, you said I was the one you wanted to be with forever.
Where were you when I need you most? Where were you when I was half dying, sick in fkn hospital for 6 fkn months??? You never came to see the person you said you loved, the person you said you wanted to be with forever, there I was picking up the phone everyday calling you and texting you thinking and believing that we were together and that you were by my side. Oh how stupid of me, to believe and loved a guy who was full of shit. I hope you feel the slightest amount of hurt i feel.
tbh, i just don't know how to move on. you. you were my first love, my first everything and til this day, i always compare others to you. I just wish one day, just one day, sooner or later, God will give me that someone that will give me the capability to allow me to not ever compare him to you and I'm sure I'm sooooo very sure that I will love him more than I will ever love you.
goodluck with your marriage.
