I'm so over feeling like this. I'm so over feeling like I am the victim when I'm not. 

I hate feeling like I always have to apologise or admit that I'm wrong even when I'm not. I hate how you bring things up from my past that I can't change. I hate that it even happened in the first place and you still have the nerve to bring it up everytime especially when we are fine. We are happy, we are slowly mending and picking up the pieces but it's like you don't want us to move forward or be happy, it's like you want something to get in the way and make us fight. Do you like fighting? Do you like making the both of us upset? Do you like hearing me cry? 

I hate how you always find anything to make me feel guilty when there's simply nothing at all. I don't know about you, but a relationship is when the two parties actually want the other to be happy and see the person you love be happy. It's all I ever do for you. I always stop doing something to make you happy, I always forgive you straight away to just see you happy. I restrict myself from doing things to make you happy. I cut off so many ties with people just to see you happy. I try my best everyday to make you feel happy and somehow feel like you're special to me, but you don't understand. You never open your eyes and see the little things I do, you treat and act like I'll always be there for you and because of that, you always push me away like I'm some sort of sock kicked or thrown in the corner of your room and leave me like that. You don't have the audacity to actually try and fix things or talk it out, you're always right aren't you? When I try to make you happy I'm the bad person here? I don't understand, boyfriends aren't supposed to be like this to their girlfriend. There's only so much I can put up with, and you probably don't even know it. You probably don't even see how I'm smiling through every thickened crack inside of me. You fuck up alot. I always forgive you. I forgive because I want us to get over things and be happy. You can't do the same for me can you? You always have to say "Just leave me alone". How the hell is that supposed to make me feel? Do you want me by your side or not? It's like I'm an object to you. Someone that will be there for you when you want and not be there when you don't. You can't just forgive me, or get over things but instead make everything so big. If I did the exact same things you did to make I don't think you'd be here, I don't think you'd stick around. But I do, and it's because I love you. 

You lie to me straight to my face, more than once and yet I still have the heart to forgive in a second and never bring it up again, but for you.. For something I do to MAKE YOU HAPPY, you ignore me for 5 hours and then come back and talk to me and be all dry?! You're so unfair.

I give you my 200%, putting my feelings and needs after yours.. Right  now I feel like you're only giving me 70% of you and it's unfair feeling like I'm always trying when you aren't. I'm sick of the lies, the dickhead act, the 'it's not like I haven't done it anyway' 

Can't you just grow up and stop being so stupid and realise what you have infront of you before it's gone?