If there's one thing that I don't understand about the two of us, it's the way we handle the same reversed situations differently. It was last night that I waited up for after being so tired for the whole day, I still had the energy to wait up for you while you were at training and were out with your family.
It wasn't until you called me that I actually felt moody because of having to wait for so long, you asked me some repeatedly when I answered with the same thing multiple times, and when I screamed the answer again, you totally flipped. WHY?
Why do you never ever put yourself in my position and understand how I feel? I waited up for you, I kept myself together just to speak to and get what? You being mad because you pushed my buttons? I'm sorry. We both know that in a reversed situation where you'd scream at me, I'd always let it slide and you'd tell me to "Get over it". That's the thing, I always let it slide. I let everything slide for what, the love I have for you? I take in every ounce of anger, force, scream you've ever thrown my way. Why is it that I am capable of that but you aren't? Why am I always in the wrong, in a situation that is so forgiving. Why do I have to feel like I'm always fighting for this relationship. You tell me you love more than I love you, but how is that true, when you don't fight for me, put the effort for me. Why do I have to feel hurt with every word you say to me. Why do I feel like I'm less than anything in this relationship.
I realised my mistakes, I realised. I always do, why don't you? Why do you push me away, make me feel like nothing? The tweets, the replies. WHY I would never tweet about you in that way, so why must you put me down more than I already have. It's a small situation that's turned so big.
If only you knew.

I feel like I'm at my last end, you're the only person I have to keep me standing tall. I feel like I should just give up because with everything I say I get dry replies in return. Do I really deserve any of this? Do I deserve to put in the effort for so long but we're back to where we started? Do I have to feel more disappointed in myself that I already have.
You tell me you love me more than life itself, then why don't you show it. Why don't you have that little compassion to understand me, to put it past you. Why do you make it seem like letting me is go easy? Why..

I feel like the feelings I have for you are taken for granted, I feel like the feelings I have for you are being walked all over by none other but you. I'd always fight for you, because that's what love is. But I don't see the same in you.. and that's what hurts the most.

What if I let you go? What if I told you I can live without you? Would you fight for me like I fought for you? Would you come back and actually tell me the three words that mean everything to me. The thing is, I can't let go.
I can't fight it, I don't know what I'd do without you. I just wish for us to be a couple for a really long time. I don't know if that's too much to ask for but it isn't impossible.


I love you.